Killed By An Idiot And Its Son
Killed By An Idiot And Its Son
The audience murmured in susurrations of anticipation; as if they were afraid to be perceived as less than reverential. There were representations at the press conference from the science class, a military group from disparate nations and alliances, some politicos, and of course representatives of the press, who were trying to blend in with their hawk nosed piercing eyes and aura of alcoholic splendor. Alen Berg of the San Francisco Newspaper Barons` Panel discovered he was sitting beside Trunco Butto of the giant Italian car manufacturing company, Feet, `Wassup?` Butto turned to examine his interlocutor with Latin blue mirrored shades, `The death of the Earth apparently.` Butto crinkled his nose, `Not the usual pollution by car exhaust fumes destroying the atmosphere and letting harmful radiation through to fry the brains of the public, so that they stagger around blind and sick until they collapse from paralysis and loss of vision centers, but something like that. I`m here to represent my car company, Feet, which has been accused of using up all of the Earth`s resources on occasion, so that the giant that was Man is reduced to a butthole for the insertion of petrol to fuel the species self-incinerator, while Man travels about inside looking out of the windshield of the toenail that is all that remains of the cremated giant.`
Alen was quick to see the joke. `Yes, it`s a self-drawn picture by an ogre that`s eating itself.` He chuckled. `In science fiction, there are `bug-eyed monsters` that, demoniacally possessive, invade the Earth and steal the bodies of the people, so that the alien can exterminate the human race from inside, as it were, the toenail. Obviously, the car is a one-eyed ogre corresponding to the BEMs of scifi.` `Yes,` Butto replied, `fueled by Bemzedrine.` Butto laughed, `But don`t tell it to anyone from my company; but me.` Butto winked conspiratorially, `They wouldn`t think it`s funny to lose money.`
Here in the city of New Coca Cola was to be the first scientific description of the Concerned Citizens of the Globe`s Carefully Considered Program for the Saving of the Earth. The speakers ascended the platform and began to assemble their papers before the podiums prepared for them to deliver the Ineffable Message (IM) reputedly gleaned from two thousand years of scholarship applied to the solving of the mysteries of the Bible. There were three persons on the stage behind their respective podiums. The one in the center waved cheerfully in the direction of Alen and Butto, `It`s good to have the representative of the Italian car giant, Feet, with us today, Trunco Butto!` A smattering of applause from the Earth`s delegations. Butto remained seated, but beamed his smile outwardly at everything; as if he were a beacon of magnanimity and sanctity to whom ships could safely be steered in hope of a harbor. The figure in the center podium went on, `I think it ought to be clear from the outset that the giant Feet car manufacturing company won`t be made a target here. Everyone, I think, knows how the Earth`s Council disapproves of Feet and its fellow car manufactories across the globe. Reducing Man to a petrol bumb in charge of its big toe, while the fuel companies rake in the cash over the cremated remains, is the least image I can recall from the newspaper cartoonists reaction to our last get together on the subject of how environmentally secure the Earth is from `bug-eyed monsters` taking over our bodies to surreptitiously make our species extinct.` No one laughed.
The person at the far podium from where Alen and Butto were sitting on the right of the auditorium began to show signs of animation, which was highlighted by the dimming of the lighting that illuminated the speaker in the center, and now grew brighter to indicate that the figure at the far end of the theater`s stage was about to hold forth. `Biblical scholars have explained that Adam was a woman. The creation of Eve from the rib of Adam by the creator, God, is a euphemism for self-fertilization and birth by a woman whose race is called futanarian.` The speaker paused for emphasis. `In the Bible Eve is told by God that her `seed` will be redeemed, because she`s a self-fertilizing species with her own penis` semen. In Christian iconography, Jesus` mother, the Virgin Mary, is depicted as crushing the head of the `serpent`, Satan, with her foot, because it`s a symbol of how women`s futanarian sexual reproduction of human brainpower to defeat evil will redeem Man.` The light at the far end dimmed and the illumination nearest to where Alen and Butto were sitting grew brightest. The spokesperson turned to the screen behind the podiums, where moving pictures could now be seen. `Here are images of futanarian sexual intercourse.`
The figures on the podium were beginning to wind up their presentation. The films were still being shown on the screen behind the trio, and the invited gathering seemed to be in some state of shock. In a last display of razzmatazz the three speaking parts began to feign telepathic rapport and divided the speech between themselves seamlessly, so that it gave the impression of the Earth`s Council members speaking as if with a single unified voice. The speaker nearest commenced, `Jesus was taken to the hill of Calvary by the Romans for advocating sexual freedom for women unfettered by male subjugation: Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Mark twelve thirty-one.` The speaker in the center continued, `Nailed to a cross of wood where he was left to die as a `dissident` against the male brained Empire of Rome for war against Man, Jesus experienced Resurrection and Ascension to heaven.` The third speaker opened up, `Jesus` ascent to heaven symbolized Man`s escape from the evil upon the Earth through that brainpower needed to build starships to colonize the planets amongst the stars of heaven above.`
The lights on the podiums went out and the images being displayed on the screen at the back of the theater became easier to see. In a series of vignettes, Jesus` disciple, Judas, is depicted watching a woman anointing Jesus` feet with oil. Jesus` demurs when Judas says, `The perfume is too expensive. Sell it and we`ll have money.` Judas is seen taking `thirty pieces of silver` from the Jewish religious police, the Pharisees, who give Jesus over to the Romans. We see Jesus being nailed to the cross. Judas is in the crowd, and the audience hear him say, `I don`t want his species to reproduce brainpower and escape slavery in death.` The screen goes blank. The lights in the auditorium come on. There are no figures at the podiums. It`s over.
Trunco Butto became more Italiano and mafioso in his relaxed style with Alen as they meandered from the arena, `Waddya tink Aline?` Alen is ready with his reply, which is almost instant, `I think the Earth`s been killed by an idiot and its son. In ancient Greece, which was held to be the model of democracy, women`s host wombs were slaved in institutionalized homosexuality in pederasty for war against Man, but without `woman`s seed` there isn`t any Man, that is, what we`ve been taught to think of as women are Man. We`re the BEMs. It`s a male brained dictatorship verging on a misogynist pogrom with the extinction of women, that is, Man, as its goal.` Butto crinkled his nose, `Yes, it was when that scientist explained that, at some distant point in the past, the Earth had been visited by an alien virus, which had somehow inveigled itself into the host womb of the species to steal its semen and replicate itself as the exterminator of the race, that I understood it plainly.` Alen nodded his agreement.
The two men emerged into the afternoon sunshine outside the building where the presentation on Earth Security had been given by the Council Members, `Yes, when that parasitologist explained that the parasite that emerges from the host to kill it is termed `parasitoid`, I got the message.` Butto giggled. `We`re bugs.` `Yes,` Alen affirmed, `and that`s why the late 20th century `incurable killer disease`, that is, HIV/AIDS, which was spread by homosexuals` mixing blood, shit and semen in each others` anuses in mockery of the sexual reproduction of human brains` powers, kept Man in fearful faithfulness to her parasitoid ring slaver.`
Butto blinked, and as if by mutual consent they wandered through the park, which was at the other side of the road, and opposite the building from whence they`d emerged. On by means of the path amid the verdancy they strolled towards Joke`s Cafe, `You think that we`re possessed by an alien mind?` `Alen swallowed with an obvious exertion of will against that which wanted to prevent his next utterance, `I don`t think that Man peering through his own toenail, while he steers his own personal self-incinerator around the streets of his local crematorium, is going anywhere fast.`
Butto looked gloomy, `One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.` Alen smiled humorlessly, `Yes, Neil Armstrong`s words on becoming the first to set foot on Earth`s planetary satellite, the moon, on July 21, 1969, UTC: 2. 56, but that was before US` President Ray Gun`s `star wars`, which was his `ground and space based missile defense system,` SDI, based on the movie Star Wars (1977) and featuring the `Death Star` of the evil Empire imprisoning the people of whatever planet it orbited in order to kill them.`
The pair are now seated within the environs of the nearby coffee bar. Alen is sipping his cappuccino but seems alarmed and agitated now, `You mean ...?` Butto gave him an assertive glance, `Yes, beneath the suns of Ray Gun will be their idiot children, who`re the killers of Man upon the Earth.` Butto guffawed. `So? The aliens will win, and we can`t escape. Well, I`ll be buggered.` Butto`s eyebrows rose as he drank from his espresso. Putting the cup back into its saucer, his expression evinced the surprise and amazement that his words merited. `Yes,` said Alen Berg, `it`s their plan. Having smoked the women`s penis they`re after the `remnant`. I can quote from the Bible too. `The dragon was wroth with the woman and went to make war on the remnant of her seed. Revelation twelve seventeen.` Butto flicked down the butt of his cigarette to where he crushed it with a toe. `The cigarette is a secret symbol of the human penis `smoked` by the serpent, Satan, grown into a dragon waging war against Man,` Alen mused, `and eventually we`ll all be butts for the homosexuals` joke.` Alen`s ears wiggled remorsefully, `That`s about the size of it, Butto.`
`What I don`t understand,` Butto frowned, `is the role of the serpent, Satan. Who was he?` Alen gleamed mirthlessly, `A personification of the viral form. According to science life originated on the Earth when a virus landed here from space. The Mesozoic period was 248 million years ago, and before the first hominids began to appear in the Jurassic period around 220 million years ago. The Bible says angels were `winged` and Satan was `fallen`, which suggests an earlier evolution in which the angels, who`re still in heaven with God, apart from those who `fell` with Satan, were winged saurians. Consequently, Satan`s conversations with Eve and Adam were a negotiation, whereby the hominids were persuaded by the saurians that had succumbed to the virus, which had degenerated their species, to accept the contaminated semen of the prehistoric reptile, that is, `the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil`, according to the Bible, and that conferred ephemerality in slavery to death upon Eve`s descendants in exchange for the use of subsequent generations of humans as brainless puppets, who`d wage war in conquest against Man on behalf of the `serpent`s seed` as entertainment for an alien parasitoid devourer, `You shall be as gods. Genesis three five.``
After motioning the waitress over and thanking her effusively for the service she provided, Butto stirred his second cup of espresso thoughtfully, while `Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun` from the 1968 album, A Saucerful Of Secrets, by the rock musicians, Pink Floyd, played in the background: `One inch of love is one inch of shadow ...` Alen sipped from his second cappuccino, `That`s a saucerful of cigarette butts you`re amassing there,` said Alen joshingly. `Yes, but..,` said Butto, `... to cut it right out is now my own personal goal in the face of the alien menace to the Earth` `Cut it out!?` Alen`s incredulous, `Hey, I don`t want to be the butt of an alien`s secret jo, Trunco Butto!`